I have just been told that 17.7% of my body is fat, thick lardy style fat. That’s the figure that the Bio Signature analysis of my body measurements has provided.
Not quite as fatty as some, says my personal trainer with a smile, but somehow he doesn’t sound that convincing.
I am six feet and an inch tall so that 17.7% in terms of my height that is like from the ground to my knees is pure unadulterated lard.
Like Lady Gaga’s meat dress.
Long socks made of pork crackling, support stockings made of spare ribs and pop socks of pure lard flash across my mind.
It means that in imperial weights I have one stone in weight that my body just does not need.
You might say that I have a stone around my neck.
It’s a sobering thought!
I am wondering how much money I have spent on food I wanted but didn’t need in order to get into this condition.
It would not be so bad if this was the starting point, but just six months ago I was even heavier. I had ballooned and only noticed when I was photographed at the coffee bar at work looking like Homer Simpson. I don’t know what weight I was then, which is probably just as well the news I have just been given is bad enough.
It is surprising how easy I found it to dismiss the comments of friends and family about an expanding waist line as just friendly banter, but here at in the gym the news has finally struck home – I am a lardy boy and I know I need to change.
Mixed action approach
I am a bit surprised to be told that if I have twice weekly sessions for the next eight weeks I will start to see some improvement.
But, I am also cautioned that the gym work is just going to be one element in achieving my goals.
Not only do I want to lose weight, I want what is left to be, well arranged rather nicely as well.
I am going to have to change what I eat, and when I eat it.
I will have to take some supplements, which at the moment is not an idea that I am keen on.
I am going to have to do some exercise away from the gym and really surprisingly I am going to have to improve my sleep as well.
Anything is possible
Somehow I do have a feeling that it is all possible.
So, in to the gym I go and start our first workout.
It’s important I think that we are doing this together. It’s a completely different experience from the open gyms that I have been in before.
I have an expert to guide me through every exercise. It all makes me feel quite special.
There are loads of weights and machines around the room, but they must be for show. We are well into our hour before we start using any of them.
Most of what we do is using my own body weight, and lots of stretching exercises, which I am told will strengthen my back muscles after the whip lash injury I suffered when someone drove their car into the back of mine.
None of it seems that strenuous, until the end and I have to descend the steps to the car park, now I know I have had a workout.
Fit For My Age
We will be following one middle aged male member of the WorkWorkWork.works team as he strives to return to his past levels of fitness